October 10 | 1 Peter 3:8-12
DAILY READING
REFLECTION
Suffering for Doing Good
By Carmel Elmer
When I think of suffering certain images come to mind:
· Homelessness
· Starvation
· Illness
· Natural disasters
· War-torn nations
But what about everyday suffering? Things like loneliness, rejection, depression, sadness? These I can relate to and I have felt the pain of suffering that can come from all of these things at one time or another. How about you?
Several years ago, I experienced devastation at the hands of someone who I trusted with everything – my security, my love, my heart, my very life. I can honestly say my first reaction was not to pour blessings in response! I was mad and hurt and I wanted to lash out and hurt back. If we are honest with ourselves, It goes against our human nature to repay evil with blessing. For most of us, when we are hurt or insulted by another person, we naturally hurl insults and hurt right back. What Peter suggests here is that we do just the opposite of what comes naturally.
So how do we do that? For me the process was slow and deliberate. A friend suggested a book. Not just your typical five step, self help book with a formula for achieving personal growth, but a book that required daily study of a scripture passage, an intentional act of love and forgiveness to the person who caused your pain, and journaling. I suppose at first, I expected my expressions of unconditional, 'no matter what' love to be received with appreciation and I thought they would change the other person’s heart. Of course, we all know that only God can change a person’s heart. What did happen over time is that God did change a heart – mine!
I realized that through my intentional acts of love and forgiveness, I gained a capacity for unconditional love, compassion, understanding, and even forgiveness for someone who didn’t want those things from me and really didn’t deserve them. I found myself able to speak words of kindness to someone who had become unkind in response because I knew that unkind behavior was coming from a place of woundedness. Over time, the sadness I felt from my loss of relationship became sadness in realizing that the other person was actually the one missing out, and they didn’t even realize it.
This life brings with it times of great joy and also, great suffering. As much as we may all want suffering to end, it’s all around us and sometimes, we are the ones who experience it. How we respond determines what kind of legacy we leave behind; and how closely we model the love, compassion, and forgiveness of Christ, even in the agony of suffering, we will determine the mark we leave on those around us. I want my legacy to be one of unconditional love, forgiveness, and compassion for those around me who are in pain. What about you?
Think about someone who has caused you pain. Maybe they’ve rejected you, lied about or insulted you. Maybe they’ve physically hurt you in some way or taken something valuable from you. What is one act of kindness that you can demonstrate in response? It could be something as simple as not saying anything when you really want to let them have it! Or it could be a quiet prayer for their heart to be touched by God’s love, and transformed. Small acts of kindness like that in the face of unkindness really do cause amazing transformation to occur, and even though it may not change the situation or make the suffering end, it does change the trajectory of your heart. Why not give it a try today?
PRAYER
Though we know this life will not always be easy and we may not always be treated with love or kindness, we ask today for Your transformative love to bring about a response in us that demonstrates what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ in a world that isn't always kind, but can always benefit from a little more good. Let that good come from us.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CARMEL ELMER
I have attended UALC for nearly 25 years, but faith has always been at the center of my life. My mom was an incredible role model, demonstrating a trust in God that surpassed any circumstance. I will always be grateful for her incredible example of faith, and I pray that one day, my children will say the same about me.
Well I definitely needed that message. It's exactly what I need to work on. Thank you!
What a beautiful, transforming devotional, Carmel! Thank you for sharing this suffering and vulnerable part of your life—with the good news of how God has worked in your heart. This will stay with me and work in mine. Thank you.
So much to take in today. This devotional piece is touching me this morning. Thank you for sharing your pain and using God's word to give us a way through our pain.